Many people ask me whether travel phobias – fear of flying, boating, automobile travel etc. – are justified or irrational.
I would be hard pressed to think of a single travel-related phobia that is “justified” per se. If a person has been in a serious car/plane accident and is therefore, afraid to return to that method of travel, his/her fear could possibly be said to be “justified” under the circumstances. However, most phobias related to travel are based on worries that simply will never eventuate.
By its very definition, a phobia is not a rational process. It is mainly an irrational fear of something that poses no real, impending danger. Take for example one of the most common phobias – fear of flying. Fear of flying is a partly rational and partly irrational fear. Yes, planes do crash from time to time and it is remotely possible that the one you are thinking of travelling on, could crash. But the likelihood of that happening is miniscule. You have a better chance of winning the lottery.
21 Sep 2009
Many people believe that depression can result from anger turned inwards. Anger and depression are simply states of mind just like sadness, frustration, confusion etc.
Anger does not cause (nor is it a symptom of depression). In my clinical experience, persistent anger does often co-exist with MANY other negative emotions – frustration, despair, fear, sense of hopelessness etc. However, in assisting clients to release these deeply ingrained patterns of negative emotions (which can become bad habits over time), it is often necessary to work with and release anger first as it is a strong, dominant, primary emotion. Often, unless anger is released first, it is impossible to face or address the underlying issue(s).
13 Sep 2009
First let’s get one thing straight – happiness and optimism are not the same thing. Happiness is an emotion, a feeling, a state of mind that can be changed in an instant. Optimism is something quite different – it is a belief about the future.
Optimists trust that the future will be mostly good – they also believe their decisions, choices and actions shape their destinies. There is evidence to suggest that optimists tend to have better coping mechanisms and tend to be less negatively impacted but life’s little ups and downs. They recover faster, tend to eat right and exercise, are less likely to smoke, suffer less from aches and pains and are at a much lower risk for dementia and other diseases.
07 Sep 2009
I was reminded of this brilliant principle last week when I spoke to one of my business coaching clients. There can be no doubt that we are living in interesting times…. the global financial crisis has impacted overall spending and consumer sentiment – and this has hurt many small businesses around the country. It’s no good hoping that circumstances will change – in order to survive we all need to dig deep and find creative ways to work smarter not harder.
Jim Collins, in his book, “Good to Great,” talks about this very interesting paradox that he calls “The Stockdale Principle”. According to Collins, “you have to be realistic about your current situation and yet, stay optimistic about the future”.
General Stockdale was the highest ranking American prisoner of war in Hanoi, Vietnam. Over the years he began to notice an interesting phenomenon – optimism could in fact be a liability. His fellow prisoners (who were the eternal optimists) constantly set themselves up for disappointment. They set huge milestones – “we will be rescued by Christmas” – but those milestones came and went year after year and with it… their will to live.
25 Aug 2009
The definition of “flirt”, according to the dictionary is:
- to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions or
- to trifle or toy, as with an idea.
While many may jump to a pre-mature conclusion (no double entendre intended ), flirting is not synonymous with short skirts, sex, massages and unwarranted promotions etc. I would never advocate using overt sexuality to get business or a promotion. It simply isn’t appropriate, professional or effective. What I am speaking about is very simple – it is about two objectives (1) being memorable and (2) developing rapport with another person for the purposes of enhancing your work relationship.