Lily Allen may not be an authority on business, but she hit the nail on the head with her honest, irreverent spin on a timeless mystery – “how to know what to do when you have no idea and you’re not prepared”. In her platinum selling song, she sings:

 

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore,
And I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore, 
When do you think it will all become clear?

 

Everyone knows that we have been conditioned NOT to admit that we don’t know all of the right answers. Even though we know it’s not true, our teachers, bosses, politicians and even the media have modeled this “fake it until you make it” mentality. Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between a real or imagined event, acting ‘as if’ seems like the logical solution to temporary uncertainty, or does it?

“I don’t know” is a simple phrase. Simple and powerful at the same time. While there can be no doubt that to use it denotes uncertainty and the risk of embarrassment, with it comes an attribute that is far more rare and influential…authenticity!

Over the course of my life, I have been asked some difficult questions both personally and professionally – I’ve been put on the spot, caught unprepared and left exposed and vulnerable. Many times, I racked my brain to come up with the answer – a plausible response that hit the nail on the head or got me out of jail [metaphorically speaking] for free! Other times, I just got lucky.

But occasionally I must admit, “I just don’t know!” I simply cannot say for sure. I just don’t have the answer right now.

Sometimes admitting you don’t know can be the most empowering, intelligent, authentic and liberating response that you can offer. Compared to stumbling through a half baked idea, outright lying or trying to pull a cohesive response out of thin air, admitting you don’t know is a sane solution to this diabolical dilemma.

To be honest, none of us has “The Answer” to everything. If you think you do, chances are you know even less than you thought! If someone has taken the time to ask a question, seek your business advice, and placed their trust in your expertise, they deserve pearls of wisdom not propaganda.

In fact, in order to be a true leader and to earn authority, which is the foundation of your ability to influence others, it is simply not enough to be knowledgeable. You also need to be truthful. Therefore, in order to master the power of influence, you must establish yourself as both honest and powerful in your communications.

When in doubt, “I don’t know but I will find out” is the best answer.

Botox is either a miracle cure for migraines and worry lines or a toxic scam – it all depends who you speak to.  Fuelled by our obsession with youth and beauty, it is estimated that more than a quarter of a million injections were given in Australia last year alone.

When did we decide that older does not mean wiser, and in fact, now means unattractive and unwanted?

Somewhere along the line it has become unappealing to let others see our emotions. The smile and frown lines we have come to expect and rely upon, are disappearing. If a person’s appearance is frozen and expressionless, how do we know what they are thinking and feeling? And more interestingly, does anybody even care? Are we trying to mask the facial clues or cover up the underlying emotions?

We now have infinitely more tools to articulate ourselves but do we really have better communication and relationships? More and more we find ourselves relying on highly impersonal means – SMS, Facebook, Twitter and email – to keep in touch, convey information and build relationships.

It seems like we are talking to everyone but not really connecting with anyone.

Only 7% of your communication is attributable to your words and 93% is conveyed by non-verbal means. Even though it is largely unconscious, you rely heavily on body language to discern what is (and is not) being said. Without these vital clues, you must make assumptions to fill in the gaps and hope that you are right. Oftentimes, you may find that you have missed the mark completely.

In essence text messaging, social media and email are the communication equivalent to Botox.

They allow you to defy time and distance by reaching MORE people but connecting with and accomplishing far LESS.  What happened to the good old days when you picked up the phone and spoke to the person you needed to be in touch with or met them in person?

Perhaps we’ve all just become far too busy for such primitive means?

Technology does have its place in our personal and business lives – but when is the last time you shot someone an email in order to avoid speaking with them? Have you ever sent a message and later discovered that the person on the other end took it the wrong way? I would bet you can think of a handful of examples where you have used technology in order to sidestep a difficult situation.

My point is this – if you want to build effective relationships and influence others you need to take responsibility for the effectiveness of your communication. While it may be easier to cut corners, inject fillers or hide behind technology, the wrinkles it creates will eventually come to the surface and bite you on the cheeks. Not only is it cheaper to grow old and communicate directly, it is also more beautiful and less addictive.

Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay" and "On The Shoulders of Giants

Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay" and "On The Shoulders of Giants

It has been over 50,000 since human beings lived in caves.  All those years ago, life was pretty much about survival – each morning our ancestors would emerge from their caves and scan the horizon for imminent danger.   Although things have changed a lot in our external environment in the last few thousand years, in many ways, the wiring in our brains has not.  In fact, 90% of what you and I do on a day to day basis is still based on that ancient wiring and survival mentality and it is precisely this legacy that needs to be re-directed to prevent self sabotage from holding you back, personally and professionally.

You see our brains are wired to spot and avoid danger.

Even though the danger may not be “life or death”, we see this dynamic play out in our work environments almost every day.  For every daring and outlandish new idea that is proposed by one hopeful soul, there will be a long list of sceptical colleagues who are willing to offer 20 reasons why the idea might fail or cause harm.

So, how does this play out exactly?

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Rhondalynn Korolak

Rhondalynn Korolak

Welcome to the new blog for Imagineering Unlimited.

I would like to share my creative and inspiring story that proves that you can BE, DO and HAVE anything you set your mind to.  From humble beginnings and despite formidable obstacles, to success as a leader and entrepreneur, I have learned what it takes to succeed in business and I would like to share those insights and strategies with you!  I am an expert at business acceleration, the power of influence/communication, mental toughness and peak performance.

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