Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay®" and "On The Shoulders of Giants

I have been fortunate to discover that there is a reason for all things – even those that are senseless and incomprehensible – and that we have to somehow learn to trust that there is a bigger picture that perhaps we, as mere human beings, can never truly understand.

The most beautiful expression of this idea I’ve ever read was in a children’s book ‘Little Soul in the Sun’ by Neil Donald Walsh. In the story, Walsh talks of a Little Soul who wants to be incarnated as a human being to learn ‘forgiveness’. A Friendly Soul agrees to oblige him by incarnating as a person to do something to the Little Soul that will help him learn the lesson of forgiveness. But the Friendly Soul issues a plea of caution and says, ‘at the very moment that I strike you down, please promise me that you will remember who I really am, a Friendly and loving Soul, otherwise we will be doomed to repeat the process over and over again until we get the learnings or until another Little Soul comes down to help us find the way out.’

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Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay®" and "On The Shoulders of Giants

Lily Allen may not be an authority on business, but she hit the nail on the head with her honest, irreverent spin on a timeless mystery – “how to know what to do when you have no idea and you’re not prepared”.  In her platinum selling song, she sings:

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
And I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?

Everyone knows that we have been conditioned NOT to admit that we don’t know all of the right answers.  Even though we know it’s not true, our teachers, bosses, politicians and even the media have modelled this “fake it until you make it” mentality.  Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between a real or imagined event, acting ‘as if’ seems like the logical solution to temporary uncertainty, or does it?

“I don’t know” is a simple phrase.  Simple and powerful at the same time.  While there can be no doubt that to use it denotes uncertainty and the risk of embarrassment, with it comes an attribute that is far more rare and influential…authenticity!

Over the course of my life, I have been asked some difficult questions both personally and professionally – I’ve been put on the spot, caught unprepared and left exposed and vulnerable.   Many times, I racked my brain to come up with the answer – a plausible response that hit the nail on the head or got me out of jail [metaphorically speaking] for free!  Other times, I just got lucky.

But occasionally I must admit, “I just don’t know!”  I simply cannot say for sure.  I just don’t have the answer right now.

Sometimes admitting you don’t know can be the most empowering, intelligent, authentic and liberating response that you can offer.  Compared to stumbling through a half baked idea, outright lying or trying to pull a cohesive response out of thin air, admitting you don’t know is a sane solution to this diabolical dilemma.

To be honest, none of us has “The Answer” to everything.  If you think you do, chances are you know even less than you thought!  If someone has taken the time to ask a question and placed their trust in your expertise, they deserve pearls of wisdom not propaganda.

In fact, in order to be a true leader and to earn authority, which is the foundation of your ability to influence others, it is simply not enough to be knowledgeable.  You also need to be truthful.  Therefore, in order to master the power of influence, you must establish yourself as both honest and powerful in your communications.

When in doubt, “I don’t know but I will find out” is the best answer.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3925288

Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay®"

One of the wonderful things about personal characteristics like confidence or preparedness is that if you pretend to have them, you have them immediately.  Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between a real or imagined event, acting ‘as if’ is a logical and sensible solution to temporary uncertainty!

Because our mind has such a profound influence on our external experience, choosing to adopt beneficial emotional states is the first step to truly mastering your life.  All that we are and have experienced to date is a result of what we have imagined to be true in our minds. If we are unhappy with the results, our experience can be changed as quickly as we can change our minds and imagine a new meaning.

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Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "On The Shoulders of Giants"

Many people ask me whether travel phobias – fear of flying, boating, automobile travel etc. – are justified or irrational.

I would be hard pressed to think of a single travel-related phobia that is “justified” per se.  If a person has been in a serious car/plane accident and is therefore, afraid to return to that method of travel, his/her fear could possibly be said to be “justified” under the circumstances.  However, most phobias related to travel are based on worries that simply will never eventuate.

By its very definition, a phobia is not a rational process.  It is mainly an irrational fear of something that poses no real, impending danger. Take for example one of the most common phobias – fear of flying.  Fear of flying is a partly rational and partly irrational fear. Yes, planes do crash from time to time and it is remotely possible that the one you are thinking of travelling on, could crash. But the likelihood of that happening is miniscule.  You have a better chance of winning the lottery.  

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Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "On The Shoulders of Giants"

Many people believe that depression can result from anger turned inwards.  Anger and depression are simply states of mind just like sadness, frustration, confusion etc. 

Anger does not cause (nor is it a symptom of depression).  In my clinical experience, persistent anger does often co-exist with MANY other negative emotions – frustration, despair, fear, sense of hopelessness etc.  However, in assisting clients to release these deeply ingrained patterns of negative emotions (which can become bad habits over time), it is often necessary to work with and release anger first as it is a strong, dominant, primary emotion.  Often, unless anger is released first, it is impossible to face or address the underlying issue(s).

However, I do not believe anger causes (or is a symptom of) depression per se.

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