One of the wonderful things about personal characteristics like confidence or preparedness is that if you pretend to have them, you have them immediately. Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between a real or imagined event, acting ‘as if’ is a logical and sensible solution to temporary uncertainty!
Because our mind has such a profound influence on our external experience, choosing to adopt beneficial emotional states is the first step to truly mastering your life. All that we are and have experienced to date is a result of what we have imagined to be true in our minds. If we are unhappy with the results, our experience can be changed as quickly as we can change our minds and imagine a new meaning.
Many people ask me whether travel phobias – fear of flying, boating, automobile travel etc. – are justified or irrational.
I would be hard pressed to think of a single travel-related phobia that is “justified” per se. If a person has been in a serious car/plane accident and is therefore, afraid to return to that method of travel, his/her fear could possibly be said to be “justified” under the circumstances. However, most phobias related to travel are based on worries that simply will never eventuate.
By its very definition, a phobia is not a rational process. It is mainly an irrational fear of something that poses no real, impending danger. Take for example one of the most common phobias – fear of flying. Fear of flying is a partly rational and partly irrational fear. Yes, planes do crash from time to time and it is remotely possible that the one you are thinking of travelling on, could crash. But the likelihood of that happening is miniscule. You have a better chance of winning the lottery.
21 Sep 2009
Many people believe that depression can result from anger turned inwards. Anger and depression are simply states of mind just like sadness, frustration, confusion etc.
Anger does not cause (nor is it a symptom of depression). In my clinical experience, persistent anger does often co-exist with MANY other negative emotions – frustration, despair, fear, sense of hopelessness etc. However, in assisting clients to release these deeply ingrained patterns of negative emotions (which can become bad habits over time), it is often necessary to work with and release anger first as it is a strong, dominant, primary emotion. Often, unless anger is released first, it is impossible to face or address the underlying issue(s).
07 Sep 2009
I was reminded of this brilliant principle last week when I spoke to one of my business coaching clients. There can be no doubt that we are living in interesting times…. the global financial crisis has impacted overall spending and consumer sentiment – and this has hurt many small businesses around the country. It’s no good hoping that circumstances will change – in order to survive we all need to dig deep and find creative ways to work smarter not harder.
Jim Collins, in his book, “Good to Great,” talks about this very interesting paradox that he calls “The Stockdale Principle”. According to Collins, “you have to be realistic about your current situation and yet, stay optimistic about the future”.
General Stockdale was the highest ranking American prisoner of war in Hanoi, Vietnam. Over the years he began to notice an interesting phenomenon – optimism could in fact be a liability. His fellow prisoners (who were the eternal optimists) constantly set themselves up for disappointment. They set huge milestones – “we will be rescued by Christmas” – but those milestones came and went year after year and with it… their will to live.
Are you sabotaging your own success? Here are some tell-tale signs that you might be:
1. Do you sometimes jump into a project or enterprise before fully comprehending what you need to do?
2. Have you ever undertaken a task that you know you will probably abandon as soon as something more interesting comes along?
3. Do you allow yourself to get so sidetracked by details that you lose track of your original objective?
4. Have you ever put off making a decision or getting started on a project because “things are just fine the way they are”?