Do you believe in New Years Resolutions?

Life isn’t always easy – there can be no question about that. It’s unpredictable and it’s often hard to make sense of what happens. Some of the events in our journey end up being nothing more than minor irritants, while others are more like being hit by a Mack truck at 200 kph.

Regardless – we have to play the hand we are dealt.

Part of the process of coming to terms with whatever occurs in your life is to find a way to make sense of it. If science indicates that objective reality doesn’t actually exist, it is very much up to us to create a reality that helps us move on and find some meaning. As W Mitchell so accurately points out, ‘It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do about it that matters’.

I like to think of it as choosing to ‘make chicken soup out of chicken shit’. And it is often in these times of desperation or perspiration that we accomplish our greatest achievements. We play the hand that we have been dealt and in so doing we stretch beyond the finite boundaries of probability and skill into the realm of possibility and inspiration.

For Christopher Reeve a random riding accident changed his life. Everything he was in terms of his career and how people perceived him vanished the instant he hit the ground. And yet he was able to muster his resources and master his own mind so as to find a reason to carry on. I’m sure becoming paralysed was not part of his life plan. I’m sure there must have been times that he was angry and bitter, but these feelings obviously didn’t consume him.

The simple truth is that Christopher Reeves found himself in a wheelchair at just 43 years old. Nothing could be done to change that. There was no way to wind back the clock and no way to repair the damage. His condition was permanent. But his state of mind and any negative emotions he felt were temporary and 100% within his control. He had two options: (1) let the event consume his life and extinguish his spirit or (2) accept his condition and make the best use of his time and influence to advance science in the hope that someday others with spinal cord injuries might walk again. In many ways, he became more of a superhero after his accident than he had previously been in his film roles because he created a vision and a purpose that was bigger than the event that changed his life.

He accepted the cards he was dealt in the game of life and he played with the courage, determination and strength of character of a superhero. Perhaps Christopher himself said it best, ‘I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. They are the real heroes, and so are the families and friends who have stood by them.’

TODAY – is the perfect time for you to stand back and celebrate the superhero within yourself and others. If you choose to play the hand you’ve been dealt to the best of your ability…I think you will look back [someday] and agree that the “game” was worthwhile.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2314703

worryHave you ever heard somebody say to another person “Don’t spill that coffee”  and seen that exact thing happen, that you know will happen…. which is that  they do spill the coffee by accident!

Right now you are laughing because it is funny. It is funny because it  happens all the time. And if you are still laughing it may be because you are masterful at getting what you don’t want?

For some reason it seems the more you tell someone NOT to  do something, the more likely it is that it WILL happen. Why is that? Sometimes  we attribute it to simple disobedience – for example a child testing a parent,  when the parent has said “don’t do that.”

However, it is more than just a simple testing of the boundaries. There is a  biological, scientific reason for getting what you don’t want and it has to do with the way that our  brains are wired.

So why do we always seem to do the very thing that we are told not to do?

Our Subconscious brain struggles to process negatives. In effect it hears and  acts upon the command to do the very thing that we DON’T want it to do – i.e.  “smoke” or “spill the coffee.”

In fact, the subconscious mind cannot think – it can only ACT or CREATE based  upon what is of VALUE. That value is a product of our map of reality and every  event we have experienced over a lifetime. The subconscious is actually 100x  more powerful than the conscious mind and the subconscious is an AUTOMATIC  mechanism. It kicks in and acts about 1/2 second before the conscious mind  does – so if your embedded beliefs, attitudes, values etc. are negative, you end up always getting what you don’t want.

If you say to yourself over and over “Don’t spill the drink” or you tell a  child “Don’t miss the ball”, you are focusing the attention of the subconscious  mind on the opposite of what is desired. Instead of saying “carry the drink  safely to the counter” or “hit the ball son”, you have commanded the automatic  mechanism to do exactly what you DON’T want. The automatic mechanism of the mind  is focusing on missing the ball. It’s not that the mind doesn’t hear the word  “Don’t” (or cannot understand it) it’s that the ENTIRE SENTENCE is designed to  create the opposite of what is wanted. You have to look at the sentence in its  entirety to understand why it will not work to create the desired effect.

That is in fact why many books self help books, DVDs and audio CDs DON’T work  to deter unwanted habits and behaviours. Many of the NLP and hypnosis  practitioners have loaded their materials with embedded commands like “you will  not have any problems sleeping”, “you will not want to have any more cigarettes”  or “you will no longer have cravings for fried chicken and beer”. Unfortunately,  these programs are doomed from the start. They only serve to further entrench  these undesirable patterns.

If you want to change behaviour or get around a problem you must think of new  ways to phrase the desired behaviour in a positive way. This requires the  removal of all negatives or references to the problem in the sentence. Rather  than saying “Don’t mess up the calculations” you could say “Be careful to ensure  all the calculations in the spreadsheet are double checked and correct”. Instead  of saying to your child “Don’t throw that toy at your sister” you should say  “Put the toy down now and come to me”.

Instead of telling yourself what NOT to do, focus exclusively on what you  want do to (or have happen). It can be difficult for some to unlearn old  patterns and pessimistic language. However with practice and the positive  reinforcement that comes from achieving the results that you desire most, you  will find yourself speaking and behaving in new and empowering ways.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3142214

optimism1The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” William Arthur Ward

I was reminded of this brilliant principle last week when I spoke to one of my business coaching clients. There can be no doubt that we are living in interesting times…. the global financial crisis has impacted overall spending and consumer sentiment – and this has hurt many small businesses around the country. It’s no good hoping that circumstances will change – in order to survive we all need to dig deep and find creative ways to work smarter not harder.

Jim Collins, in his book, “Good to Great,” talks about this very interesting paradox that he calls “The Stockdale Principle”. According to Collins, “you have to be realistic about your current situation and yet, stay optimistic about the future”.

General Stockdale was the highest ranking American prisoner of war in Hanoi, Vietnam. Over the years he began to notice an interesting phenomenon – optimism could in fact be a liability. His fellow prisoners (who were the eternal optimists) constantly set themselves up for disappointment. They set huge milestones – “we will be rescued by Christmas” – but those milestones came and went year after year and with it… their will to live.

Conversely, the prisoners who looked at the painful day-to-day reality they were in and channeled their energies to the right places survived. This is not to say that the second group were pessimists but rather realists that maintained an unwavering faith in the end game, and a commitment to survive despite the brutal fact of their incarceration and torture over a period of years.

Here’s how Stockdale put it in his own words: “I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

How many of us would look back on seven years of detention – with regular torture, dismal living conditions and an uncertain future – as an experience we would not trade? Do you regard the greatest obstacles or challenges in your life as the defining moment that shaped who you are today or do you choose to look at them as an excuse or reason why you have not achieved more?

Have you ever sat back and thought how this distinction between optimism versus reality could apply to your business/career or your life in general? Where in your life are you ignoring reality in favour of being optimistic and missing a crucial opportunity to take action?

Take for example my business coaching client that I mentioned above. She has an employee who doesn’t take responsibility for her actions, doesn’t pay attention to details and is often defensive and reluctant to take direction and feedback. This employee is negatively impacting the entire work environment as everyone gets caught up in the drama of it all. My client doesn’t want to let the employee go and is resisting doing what she knows that she must. She hopes that it will somehow improve without any action on her part – she is now learning the distinction between reality and optimism. When she sees the difference for what it is, then and only then, will she become decisive and take action.

Another area where it’s easy to be blinded by optimism is in the financial arena. Do you have detailed financial reports, KPIs and cashflow forecasts in place to drive your decision making or are you simply relying on your optimism instead of reality? Failure to effectively plan in this area (especially in these tough times) could lead to a cash crunch and the demise of your business.

Take a moment today to examine your relationship to optimism, pessimism and realism. Success belongs to those who operate from both sides of the Stockdale Paradox. The key is balance – knowing when to accept reality and take appropriate action AND never losing faith in the end of the story. If you can walk this delicate line of balance and responsibility, you increase your odds of making good decisions and this will lead to your inevitable success and breakthrough results.

In life, we will all experience setbacks, disappointments, loss and challenges. What separates successful people from the rest is how you deal with those inevitable struggles. This is a very important distinction and it is what divides the winners from the losers. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end – which is something that you can never afford to lose sight of – with the discipline to confront the brutal facts and reality of your current situation, whatever that might be.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2884021

Today, I’ve got a major challenge for you. I want you to take a look at what you are currently spending on marketing – whether it’s on brochures, your website, pay per clicks, PR, newspaper, direct mail, social media etc. – and I want you to slash the total budget by 20%.  No matter what you are selling and where you are selling it, I guarantee that you won’t miss that 20%.  And there is a very good reason for that.  96% of the people who see your message right now, don’t get it anyway.  You are spending thousands of dollars each year on sales and marketing materials to increase your sales and the vast majority of your prospects don’t understand your message – so they can’t possibly recall it and buy from you.

So with the money you just saved in your pocket, we are going to take a few minutes right now to re-engineer your message and give you a much better chance of getting through and being understood.  The good news is this – it is not going to cost you much to take the time right now to create a message that helps more of your prospects to say “yes”. And if more leads say “yes”, the money you do spend on sales and marketing is going to increase your sales.

To prove my point, I’d like to make you an interesting offer – I can either give you $50 cash right now or a piece of paper where I will write the net present value of a five year annuity at a compound annual interest rate of 10%, adjusted for CPI.  Which of these sounds more appealing to you? Which would you rather take right now?  Which of these can you take now, put in your wallet or spend it at the shopping centre?

Unless you are one of those very rare individuals who can calculate in your head the value of my second offer, I’m willing to bet you’d rather just take the $50.  And that makes a whole lot of sense, because everyone knows what $50 is and what it is worth. There’s nothing confusing about it, is there?

The part of your brain that makes decisions is not interested in working hard to figure out what my message means and what it’s worth. That part of your brain is looking for something that is tangible.  And if you’re unsure about whether a message is tangible or not – ask yourself “would a 6 year old understand it?”

Think about it – if I offer you a $50 note or an orange, you don’t have to think very hard about it to figure out what I am offering you, do you?  Both of them are equally easy to understand.  As soon as you see it, you know what it is and you know exactly what you can do with it. $50 will buy you enough food to cook a meal and the orange is good for you – it’s tasty and you can eat it.  There are no directions and no heavy thinking required to make sense of what I am offering you.  Your new brain doesn’t have to do any thinking (and wasting time) to get my message.

So what does this mean for you, your message and your customers?  If you are making it hard for your customers to understand what you do and whether they are getting a good deal, you need to spend some time right now making your offer more tangible.  Ask yourself “does my message include a bunch of big words, fluff and jargon?”  Could it be boiled down to something that a 6 year old could understand?  What do you need to do to communicate it more clearly to increase your sales – t0 help your prospects to be able to say “yes”? Can you simplify the words that you use or introduce photos or props to get your message across faster?

Now, I think you can guess that coming up with a simple, succinct message is a lot harder than being lazy and throwing together an ad full of useless, complicated information.  A good rule of thumb here is to remember that you should be working harder to craft and simplify your message than your prospect has to in order to decipher it.  Someone has to do the hard work – either you are committed to doing it before hand or your customer will need to think about it.

Now if you are serious about saving money and you want to increase your sales, you won’t spend another cent until you stop, take a good hard look at your materials and do whatever it takes to make your message tangible.  You don’t have to spend more money to chase find customers.  What you really need to do is take the complication and confusion out of your message so that more of your prospects can say “yes” now.

In 1949, thirteen (out of a highly skilled team of sixteen men) died battling  a relatively small blaze that turned deadly in Mann Gulch, Montana. Upon  investigating the circumstances of why thirteen of the “smoke jumpers” died  while only three lived, Norman Maclean wrote a book entitled “Young Men and  Fire”, which is the true story account of that fateful expedition of the “smoke  jumpers” – fire fighters who parachute into the back country to fight fires.

Maclean found some startling and interesting facts. Mann Gulch is surrounded  by steep canyon walls with the northern slope at a 75% incline. When the wind  turned suddenly on the smoke jumpers, they were in a race with the fire up those  steep walls. Unexpectedly, the fire started to spread much faster than  anticipated.

One of the amazing and notable things that Maclean discovered was that the  thirteen who died had carried their tools – heavy poleaxes, saws, shovels and  heavy back packs – while attempting to out run the fire up those steep walls. In  other words, the thirteen had run as far as they could with all their equipment,  even though that equipment was worse than useless in a race with the fire. Their  inability to drop their heavy tools and packs ultimately prevented them from  being able to outrun the fire. To these seasoned fire fighters, their tools were  more than simple objects – they represented who they were, why they were there  and what they were trained to do. Dropping their tools would have meant  abandoning their knowledge, beliefs, training and experience.

This might not seem like a hard choice to make to you, but because these  specialized fire fighters hadn’t been trained for such an unpredictable moment,  they had no alternative models or maps for behaviour. In moments of uncertainty  and imminent danger, clinging to the old “right” way might seem like a good  idea… but more often than not, it is actually deadly.

The three survivors of the blaze were forced to think outside the box and  develop alternative methods of escaping the fire. Once they figured out they  were no longer “fighting the fire” but were instead “trying to escape from it”,  they realized they had to drop all of their useless equipment. One survivor used  an innovative technique called the ‘escape fire’ where he took a match and lit a  ring around him so that the fire would “jump” over him. When he tried to suggest  it to the other men, they continued running up the steep slope because the  ‘escape fire’ technique had not been part of their extensive training. Their  inability to drop the tools and equipment that weren’t working and seek new  methods to escape is what ultimately led to them being engulfed by flames and  smoke.

My question to you is this: What are the poleaxes, shovels and backpacks  you’re currently running with?

What are the tired, worn out strategies and tools which you are lugging  around? What existing beliefs and models of behaviour do you need to drop in  order for you to survive and prosper (even thrive in a recession)? What training, attitudes, decisions or  experience needs to be abandoned in favour of a new, innovative approach?

It has often been said that “the thinking that got you to here, won’t get you  to there”. Never has the simplicity and wisdom of this statement been more  poignant, than it is today. Those of you who adopt and learn the critical  skills, tools and mind-set necessary to survive and even thrive in a recession (or despite any challenge you face) will be the  winners in all this. But, this has always been true. Survivors and successful  people triumph because they are flexible and willing to do whatever it takes to  get the results they desire. New or changing circumstances always necessitate a  new perspective or approach: The alternative, “doing the same thing over and  over again” is the definition of insanity and can only lead to suffering,  disappointment, frustration and pain.

The events of the past few years have clearly shown that there is fire  raging out of control in our global economy – the markets are extremely  volatile, banks and corporations are in trouble, credit is tightening, our  personal debt is far too high and property values are threatened. Change is upon  us and we all must examine what we have chosen to carry on our backs to thrive in a recession. Burying  your head in the sand and “doing more of what you have always done” are no  longer viable options.

No matter where you are at right now…I have a belief that it is impossible  for you not to become even more successful NOW. Take some time today to assess  your approach to date – what is working and what is not. Write an action plan  and take 3 steps today towards achieving the life that you imagine in your mind.  After all, success is not by chance or circumstance, it is by choice! Choose  wisely.

 


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