First let’s get one thing straight – happiness and optimism are not the same thing. Happiness is an emotion, a feeling, a state of mind that can be changed in an instant. Optimism is something quite different – it is a belief about the future.

Optimists trust that the future will be mostly good – they also believe their decisions, choices and actions shape their destinies. There is evidence to suggest that optimists tend to have better coping mechanisms and tend to be less negatively impacted but life’s little ups and downs. They recover faster, tend to eat right and exercise, are less likely to smoke, suffer less from aches and pains and are at a much lower risk for dementia and other diseases.

But what if you’re not a natural born optimist? Studies seem to indicate that optimism is only slightly influenced by genetics – 20% at best. In fact your experiences, the language you use to describe them and the meanings that you have attributed to them shape your world and your future outlook. Every single one of us can learn to become optimistic. However optimism is not achieved by making a decision one day to be optimistic – it takes more than attempting to change your feelings or outlook consciously.

Particularly in this time of economic uncertainty, faith and optimism are powerful belief structures. Arguably however, both are habits and need to be developed and nurtured over time. In fact 99% of what we do is pure habit – the domain of the subconscious.

Positive thinking alone is inherently undependable. Sustained optimism requires more than The Secret, The Law of Attraction and a few positive affirmations. Optimism is not something you are born with – it is a learned behaviour/habit. The same is true of pessimism. When the going gets tough, affirmations fly out the door and the subconscious habits will kick back in and cause all of us to sabotage our own success. In actual fact, each of us is our own worst enemy.

At the end of the day, it is not what happens to you that matters. It is about who you are and what you become because of, not despite, what happens. Change your perspective today…change your life forever!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2919330

Do you find yourself asking for THIS and THAT with the Law of Attraction… and not getting the results that you want?

The secret to manifesting your desires may be as simple as asking better questions.

Have you ever asked yourself:  WHY do you want IT  _____ (the desire)?

Do you believe that getting it means that you’ll finally have _________ (the real result you desire)? Is having _________ (real result you desire) the driving force behind you reaching your goals, or is there a much deeper reason (a deeper meaning behind it for you)?

For example let’s use a profession like coaching (you can substitute any career or goal that you like here).  Just imagine that you are out there right now wondering whether or not you should become a coach.  Next you might wonder WHY do you want to be a coach? Do you believe that being a coach intrinsically means you’ll make more money, have more flexibility, be in charge of your own destiny, be happier or have more satisfaction? Is having a huge bank account the driving force behind coaching or is it passion for helping others and confronting new challenges everyday that fulfills you?

You may want the coaching business, to get money, prestige, fame or variety… Then again, you may want to coach for the simple pleasure of helping others. Or you may even want to coach to fulfill your own desire to be needed, listened to, respected or admired.  More likely, you may want all of your desires fulfilled so that you can FINALLY BE HAPPY.

Therefore, it begs the question, does being a coach (or any other job, profession or goal for that matter) = happiness?

For some it may….but for MOST it’s just barely enough motivation to make you get off the couch in the morning and make something happen.  The end result HAPPINESS is so intangible, seemingly elusive and far out in the distance.  It just doesn’t seem real because it is something that we are constantly striving towards but that we never truly seem to reach.

In my experience, having the result or desire of happiness, fulfillment or success (or substitute any state of mind that you like) is not enough to drive you toward your goals.  Happiness, success and peace are in the here and now.  They are not an end destination – something that you drive towards or “try” to obtain.  No matter how many goals you set and hours that you work, you will never end up at the train station of happiness or success.  You need to get on the train of happiness or success now and see where it leads you.  Happiness and success are who you are already – or at the very least, who you are capable of being right now if you choose to be.  Therefore, they can’t possibly be something that motivates you to achieve your goals.

If you are currently struggling to reach your goals, I want you to stop right now, sit down and examine what the real and deeper meaning is for you.  The real “WHY” that you want to have a result or an outcome.  Once you connect to this real WHY – and you will know it when you have stated it because you will connect to some REAL EMOTION – that will be the moment when the tires hit the pavement and you begin to get real traction and momentum towards achieving your goal(s).

From my own experience as a coach, author and speaker,  I can tell you that writing and publishing a book is not easy.  If I simply wanted to have happiness or to make a few dollars selling a book, it simply would not have been enough to keep me moving forward when things got tough.  For me, the driving force behind my first book was 2 THINGS –  (1) I want for my mother’s life to have meant something and for her love and kindness to live on forever and (2) I want to be in a position to financially support children from disadvantaged backgrounds to have the food, clothing, supplies and support that they need to stay in school.  It’s that simple for me.  It was never about the book, the career or the goal – it has always been about the deeper meaning for me.

Now I don’t know what the REAL WHY will be for you….now might be a really good time to figure out what that is for you.  But I do know that when you find it, you will become UNSTOPPABLE and your success will become INEVITABLE!

Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay" and "On The Shoulders of Giants

Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay" and "On The Shoulders of Giants

Have you ever heard somebody say to another person “Don’t spill that coffee.” and seen that exact thing happen, that you know will happen…. which is that they do spill the coffee by accident!  

Right now you are laughing because it is funny.  It is funny because it happens all the time.  For some reason it seems the more you tell someone NOT to do something, the more likely it is that it WILL happen.  Why is that?  Sometimes we attribute it to simple disobedience – for example a child testing a parent, when the parent has said “don’t do that.”  

However, it is more than just a simple testing of the boundaries.  There is a biological, scientific reason for this and it has to do with the way that our brains are wired.

So why do we always seem to do the very thing that we are told not to do?

Read More

Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay" and "On The Shoulders of Giants

Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay" and "On The Shoulders of Giants

Have you ever heard somebody say to another person “Don’t spill that coffee.” and seen that exact thing happen, that you know will happen…. which is that they do spill the coffee by accident!  

Right now you are laughing because it is funny.  It is funny because it happens all the time.  For some reason it seems the more you tell someone NOT to do something, the more likely it is that it WILL happen.  Why is that?  Sometimes we attribute it to simple disobedience – for example a child testing a parent, when the parent has said “don’t do that.”  

However, it is more than just a simple testing of the boundaries.  There is a biological, scientific reason for this and it has to do with the way that our brains are wired.

So why do we always seem to do the very thing that we are told not to do?

Read More

Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay" and "On The Shoulders of Giants

Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay" and "On The Shoulders of Giants

Lily Allen may not be an authority on business, but she hit the nail on the head with her honest, irreverent spin on a timeless mystery – “how to know what to do when you have no idea and you’re not prepared”.  In her platinum selling song, she sings:

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
And I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?

Everyone knows that we have been conditioned NOT to admit that we don’t know all of the right answers.  Even though we know it’s not true, our teachers, bosses, politicians and even the media have modelled this “fake it until you make it” mentality.  Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between a real or imagined event, acting ‘as if’ seems like the logical solution to temporary uncertainty, or does it?

“I don’t know” is a simple phrase.  Simple and powerful at the same time.  While there can be no doubt that to use it denotes uncertainty and the risk of embarrassment, with it comes an attribute that is far more rare and influential…authenticity!

Over the course of my life, I have been asked some difficult questions both personally and professionally – I’ve been put on the spot, caught unprepared and left exposed and vulnerable.   Many times, I racked my brain to come up with the answer – a plausible response that hit the nail on the head or got me out of jail [metaphorically speaking] for free!  Other times, I just got lucky.

But occasionally I must admit, “I just don’t know!”  I simply cannot say for sure.  I just don’t have the answer right now.

Sometimes admitting you don’t know can be the most empowering, intelligent, authentic and liberating response that you can offer.  Compared to stumbling through a half baked idea, outright lying or trying to pull a cohesive response out of thin air, admitting you don’t know is a sane solution to this diabolical dilemma.

To be honest, none of us has “The Answer” to everything.  If you think you do, chances are you know even less than you thought!  If someone has taken the time to ask a question and placed their trust in your expertise, they deserve pearls of wisdom not propaganda.

In fact, in order to be a true leader and to earn authority, which is the foundation of your ability to influence others, it is simply not enough to be knowledgeable.  You also need to be truthful.  Therefore, in order to master the power of influence, you must establish yourself as both honest and powerful in your communications.

When in doubt, “I don’t know but I will find out” is the best answer.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3925288


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