Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay®" and "On The Shoulders of Giants

Lily Allen may not be an authority on business, but she hit the nail on the head with her honest, irreverent spin on a timeless mystery – “how to know what to do when you have no idea and you’re not prepared”.  In her platinum selling song, she sings:

I don’t know what’s right and what’s real anymore
And I don’t know how I’m meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear?

Everyone knows that we have been conditioned NOT to admit that we don’t know all of the right answers.  Even though we know it’s not true, our teachers, bosses, politicians and even the media have modelled this “fake it until you make it” mentality.  Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between a real or imagined event, acting ‘as if’ seems like the logical solution to temporary uncertainty, or does it?

“I don’t know” is a simple phrase.  Simple and powerful at the same time.  While there can be no doubt that to use it denotes uncertainty and the risk of embarrassment, with it comes an attribute that is far more rare and influential…authenticity!

Over the course of my life, I have been asked some difficult questions both personally and professionally – I’ve been put on the spot, caught unprepared and left exposed and vulnerable.   Many times, I racked my brain to come up with the answer – a plausible response that hit the nail on the head or got me out of jail [metaphorically speaking] for free!  Other times, I just got lucky.

But occasionally I must admit, “I just don’t know!”  I simply cannot say for sure.  I just don’t have the answer right now.

Sometimes admitting you don’t know can be the most empowering, intelligent, authentic and liberating response that you can offer.  Compared to stumbling through a half baked idea, outright lying or trying to pull a cohesive response out of thin air, admitting you don’t know is a sane solution to this diabolical dilemma.

To be honest, none of us has “The Answer” to everything.  If you think you do, chances are you know even less than you thought!  If someone has taken the time to ask a question and placed their trust in your expertise, they deserve pearls of wisdom not propaganda.

In fact, in order to be a true leader and to earn authority, which is the foundation of your ability to influence others, it is simply not enough to be knowledgeable.  You also need to be truthful.  Therefore, in order to master the power of influence, you must establish yourself as both honest and powerful in your communications.

When in doubt, “I don’t know but I will find out” is the best answer.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3925288

Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "Financial Foreplay®"

One of the wonderful things about personal characteristics like confidence or preparedness is that if you pretend to have them, you have them immediately.  Since the mind doesn’t know the difference between a real or imagined event, acting ‘as if’ is a logical and sensible solution to temporary uncertainty!

Because our mind has such a profound influence on our external experience, choosing to adopt beneficial emotional states is the first step to truly mastering your life.  All that we are and have experienced to date is a result of what we have imagined to be true in our minds. If we are unhappy with the results, our experience can be changed as quickly as we can change our minds and imagine a new meaning.

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Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "On The Shoulders of Giants"

When I first arrived in this country several years ago, I struggled to find anyone who would hire me in a senior management capacity.  I found this puzzling since I have two degrees, two professional designations and very solid work experience with recognized international brands.  The MAIN reason I was given by organizations was that I “lacked Australian work experience”.  I found this reason to be puzzling. 

We live in a world where there are few global trading boundaries.  Every business is susceptible to the threat of losing customers to internet-based businesses (which in many cases sell the same products for less) and we need to think outside of the square to compete and maintain market share.
 
My track record in business speaks for itself – plus I was named Online Retailer of the Year for Canada in 2001 by the Retail Sales Council of Canada.  And yet, I initially struggled to get General Managment positions because I didn’t have enough “Australian experience”.  Doesn’t everyone else in these organizations already have enough Australian experience?  Why did need it in order to contribute and add value?  Shouldn’t my international and internet retailing experience have made a welcome, diverse addition to any senior managment team or Board?

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Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "On The Shoulders of Giants"

Many people ask me whether travel phobias – fear of flying, boating, automobile travel etc. – are justified or irrational.

I would be hard pressed to think of a single travel-related phobia that is “justified” per se.  If a person has been in a serious car/plane accident and is therefore, afraid to return to that method of travel, his/her fear could possibly be said to be “justified” under the circumstances.  However, most phobias related to travel are based on worries that simply will never eventuate.

By its very definition, a phobia is not a rational process.  It is mainly an irrational fear of something that poses no real, impending danger. Take for example one of the most common phobias – fear of flying.  Fear of flying is a partly rational and partly irrational fear. Yes, planes do crash from time to time and it is remotely possible that the one you are thinking of travelling on, could crash. But the likelihood of that happening is miniscule.  You have a better chance of winning the lottery.  

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Rhondalynn Korolak, Author of "On The Shoulders of Giants"

Many people believe that depression can result from anger turned inwards.  Anger and depression are simply states of mind just like sadness, frustration, confusion etc. 

Anger does not cause (nor is it a symptom of depression).  In my clinical experience, persistent anger does often co-exist with MANY other negative emotions – frustration, despair, fear, sense of hopelessness etc.  However, in assisting clients to release these deeply ingrained patterns of negative emotions (which can become bad habits over time), it is often necessary to work with and release anger first as it is a strong, dominant, primary emotion.  Often, unless anger is released first, it is impossible to face or address the underlying issue(s).

However, I do not believe anger causes (or is a symptom of) depression per se.

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