First let’s get one thing straight – happiness and optimism are not the same thing. Happiness is an emotion, a feeling, a state of mind that can be changed in an instant. Optimism is something quite different – it is a belief about the future.

Optimists trust that the future will be mostly good – they also believe their decisions, choices and actions shape their destinies. There is evidence to suggest that optimists tend to have better coping mechanisms and tend to be less negatively impacted but life’s little ups and downs. They recover faster, tend to eat right and exercise, are less likely to smoke, suffer less from aches and pains and are at a much lower risk for dementia and other diseases.

But what if you’re not a natural born optimist? Studies seem to indicate that optimism is only slightly influenced by genetics – 20% at best. In fact your experiences, the language you use to describe them and the meanings that you have attributed to them shape your world and your future outlook. Every single one of us can learn to become optimistic. However optimism is not achieved by making a decision one day to be optimistic – it takes more than attempting to change your feelings or outlook consciously.

Particularly in this time of economic uncertainty, faith and optimism are powerful belief structures. Arguably however, both are habits and need to be developed and nurtured over time. In fact 99% of what we do is pure habit – the domain of the subconscious.

Positive thinking alone is inherently undependable. Sustained optimism requires more than The Secret, The Law of Attraction and a few positive affirmations. Optimism is not something you are born with – it is a learned behaviour/habit. The same is true of pessimism. When the going gets tough, affirmations fly out the door and the subconscious habits will kick back in and cause all of us to sabotage our own success. In actual fact, each of us is our own worst enemy.

At the end of the day, it is not what happens to you that matters. It is about who you are and what you become because of, not despite, what happens. Change your perspective today…change your life forever!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2919330

Do you find yourself asking for THIS and THAT with the Law of Attraction… and not getting the results that you want?

The secret to manifesting your desires may be as simple as asking better questions.

Have you ever asked yourself:  WHY do you want IT  _____ (the desire)?

Do you believe that getting it means that you’ll finally have _________ (the real result you desire)? Is having _________ (real result you desire) the driving force behind you reaching your goals, or is there a much deeper reason (a deeper meaning behind it for you)?

For example let’s use a profession like coaching (you can substitute any career or goal that you like here).  Just imagine that you are out there right now wondering whether or not you should become a coach.  Next you might wonder WHY do you want to be a coach? Do you believe that being a coach intrinsically means you’ll make more money, have more flexibility, be in charge of your own destiny, be happier or have more satisfaction? Is having a huge bank account the driving force behind coaching or is it passion for helping others and confronting new challenges everyday that fulfills you?

You may want the coaching business, to get money, prestige, fame or variety… Then again, you may want to coach for the simple pleasure of helping others. Or you may even want to coach to fulfill your own desire to be needed, listened to, respected or admired.  More likely, you may want all of your desires fulfilled so that you can FINALLY BE HAPPY.

Therefore, it begs the question, does being a coach (or any other job, profession or goal for that matter) = happiness?

For some it may….but for MOST it’s just barely enough motivation to make you get off the couch in the morning and make something happen.  The end result HAPPINESS is so intangible, seemingly elusive and far out in the distance.  It just doesn’t seem real because it is something that we are constantly striving towards but that we never truly seem to reach.

In my experience, having the result or desire of happiness, fulfillment or success (or substitute any state of mind that you like) is not enough to drive you toward your goals.  Happiness, success and peace are in the here and now.  They are not an end destination – something that you drive towards or “try” to obtain.  No matter how many goals you set and hours that you work, you will never end up at the train station of happiness or success.  You need to get on the train of happiness or success now and see where it leads you.  Happiness and success are who you are already – or at the very least, who you are capable of being right now if you choose to be.  Therefore, they can’t possibly be something that motivates you to achieve your goals.

If you are currently struggling to reach your goals, I want you to stop right now, sit down and examine what the real and deeper meaning is for you.  The real “WHY” that you want to have a result or an outcome.  Once you connect to this real WHY – and you will know it when you have stated it because you will connect to some REAL EMOTION – that will be the moment when the tires hit the pavement and you begin to get real traction and momentum towards achieving your goal(s).

From my own experience as a coach, author and speaker,  I can tell you that writing and publishing a book is not easy.  If I simply wanted to have happiness or to make a few dollars selling a book, it simply would not have been enough to keep me moving forward when things got tough.  For me, the driving force behind my first book was 2 THINGS –  (1) I want for my mother’s life to have meant something and for her love and kindness to live on forever and (2) I want to be in a position to financially support children from disadvantaged backgrounds to have the food, clothing, supplies and support that they need to stay in school.  It’s that simple for me.  It was never about the book, the career or the goal – it has always been about the deeper meaning for me.

Now I don’t know what the REAL WHY will be for you….now might be a really good time to figure out what that is for you.  But I do know that when you find it, you will become UNSTOPPABLE and your success will become INEVITABLE!

We live in a world with a million possible distractions, pressures,  emergencies and interruptions – how can you possibly stay focused on your goals and sane?

There are always going to be several things constantly competing for your  time – marketing campaigns to design, team members to manage, customers to  respond to, business opportunities to explore, issues to follow up, personal  commitments etc. However, whenever you try to work on too many things at the  same time, inevitably none of them ever gets done.  Business success often comes down to focus.

To assist my clients in staying on track and keeping things simple, I  developed the following list of 5 simple techniques/questions to put things into  perspective. When in doubt – check the list for guidance.

1. Has Anyone Died? If not, relax and calm down. As long as no one has died,  it’s really not that serious and there is a solution to every challenge you  face.

2. Are You Trying to Eat an Elephant in One Sitting? Breaking things into bite  sized chunks makes the world of difference. Having broad high level goals are  good but having an actionable plan is essential. A detailed, step by step plan  can help you to identify how you can get from where you are to where you want to  be. Remember, a journey of 1000 miles begins with one step.

3. Are You In A Bad Neighbourhood? If you are not in a good place emotionally,  change your physiology immediately. That means get up and get moving, put on  your favourite song or do the “dance of joy”. Whatever it takes, do it NOW.

4. Are You Grateful For What You Already Have? It is impossible to bring more of  what you want into your life if you are feeling ungrateful about what you  already have. It has been said that the whole is more than the sum of its parts.  In many ways gratitude is a bit like that – it’s not what you say, the mere  words that count, but sum of the words and the heartfelt emotion behind  them.

5. Are You focused on What You Want or Don’t Want? Whether we realise it or not,  we are visualising things all the time – visualising either what we want or  don’t want. If you are relentlessly focused on the negative outcome and are  riddled by fear that WILL impact your reality.

It’s very easy to get so caught up in the emotion of emergencies, disruptions  and day to day activities that you can easily lose sight of what is most  important to your business success and well-being. These simple tips and questions will  help you stay more in touch which is what is most essential to you and your  compelling future. These techniques (and keeping a sense of humour) are vital to  helping you to stay in focus with your ultimate goals and business success.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2314715

Do you believe in New Years Resolutions?

Life isn’t always easy – there can be no question about that. It’s unpredictable and it’s often hard to make sense of what happens. Some of the events in our journey end up being nothing more than minor irritants, while others are more like being hit by a Mack truck at 200 kph.

Regardless – we have to play the hand we are dealt.

Part of the process of coming to terms with whatever occurs in your life is to find a way to make sense of it. If science indicates that objective reality doesn’t actually exist, it is very much up to us to create a reality that helps us move on and find some meaning. As W Mitchell so accurately points out, ‘It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do about it that matters’.

I like to think of it as choosing to ‘make chicken soup out of chicken shit’. And it is often in these times of desperation or perspiration that we accomplish our greatest achievements. We play the hand that we have been dealt and in so doing we stretch beyond the finite boundaries of probability and skill into the realm of possibility and inspiration.

For Christopher Reeve a random riding accident changed his life. Everything he was in terms of his career and how people perceived him vanished the instant he hit the ground. And yet he was able to muster his resources and master his own mind so as to find a reason to carry on. I’m sure becoming paralysed was not part of his life plan. I’m sure there must have been times that he was angry and bitter, but these feelings obviously didn’t consume him.

The simple truth is that Christopher Reeves found himself in a wheelchair at just 43 years old. Nothing could be done to change that. There was no way to wind back the clock and no way to repair the damage. His condition was permanent. But his state of mind and any negative emotions he felt were temporary and 100% within his control. He had two options: (1) let the event consume his life and extinguish his spirit or (2) accept his condition and make the best use of his time and influence to advance science in the hope that someday others with spinal cord injuries might walk again. In many ways, he became more of a superhero after his accident than he had previously been in his film roles because he created a vision and a purpose that was bigger than the event that changed his life.

He accepted the cards he was dealt in the game of life and he played with the courage, determination and strength of character of a superhero. Perhaps Christopher himself said it best, ‘I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles. They are the real heroes, and so are the families and friends who have stood by them.’

TODAY – is the perfect time for you to stand back and celebrate the superhero within yourself and others. If you choose to play the hand you’ve been dealt to the best of your ability…I think you will look back [someday] and agree that the “game” was worthwhile.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2314703

Have you ever heard somebody say to another person “Don’t spill that coffee”  and seen that exact thing happen, that you know will happen…. which is that  they do spill the coffee by accident!

Right now you are laughing because it is funny. It is funny because it  happens all the time. And if you are still laughing it may be because you are masterful at getting what you don’t want?

For some reason it seems the more you tell someone NOT to  do something, the more likely it is that it WILL happen. Why is that? Sometimes  we attribute it to simple disobedience – for example a child testing a parent,  when the parent has said “don’t do that.”

However, it is more than just a simple testing of the boundaries. There is a  biological, scientific reason for getting what you don’t want and it has to do with the way that our  brains are wired.

So why do we always seem to do the very thing that we are told not to do?

Our Subconscious brain struggles to process negatives. In effect it hears and  acts upon the command to do the very thing that we DON’T want it to do – i.e.  “smoke” or “spill the coffee.”

In fact, the subconscious mind cannot think – it can only ACT or CREATE based  upon what is of VALUE. That value is a product of our map of reality and every  event we have experienced over a lifetime. The subconscious is actually 100x  more powerful than the conscious mind and the subconscious is an AUTOMATIC  mechanism. It kicks in and acts about 1/2 second before the conscious mind  does – so if your embedded beliefs, attitudes, values etc. are negative, you end up always getting what you don’t want.

If you say to yourself over and over “Don’t spill the drink” or you tell a  child “Don’t miss the ball”, you are focusing the attention of the subconscious  mind on the opposite of what is desired. Instead of saying “carry the drink  safely to the counter” or “hit the ball son”, you have commanded the automatic  mechanism to do exactly what you DON’T want. The automatic mechanism of the mind  is focusing on missing the ball. It’s not that the mind doesn’t hear the word  “Don’t” (or cannot understand it) it’s that the ENTIRE SENTENCE is designed to  create the opposite of what is wanted. You have to look at the sentence in its  entirety to understand why it will not work to create the desired effect.

That is in fact why many books self help books, DVDs and audio CDs DON’T work  to deter unwanted habits and behaviours. Many of the NLP and hypnosis  practitioners have loaded their materials with embedded commands like “you will  not have any problems sleeping”, “you will not want to have any more cigarettes”  or “you will no longer have cravings for fried chicken and beer”. Unfortunately,  these programs are doomed from the start. They only serve to further entrench  these undesirable patterns.

If you want to change behaviour or get around a problem you must think of new  ways to phrase the desired behaviour in a positive way. This requires the  removal of all negatives or references to the problem in the sentence. Rather  than saying “Don’t mess up the calculations” you could say “Be careful to ensure  all the calculations in the spreadsheet are double checked and correct”. Instead  of saying to your child “Don’t throw that toy at your sister” you should say  “Put the toy down now and come to me”.

Instead of telling yourself what NOT to do, focus exclusively on what you  want do to (or have happen). It can be difficult for some to unlearn old  patterns and pessimistic language. However with practice and the positive  reinforcement that comes from achieving the results that you desire most, you  will find yourself speaking and behaving in new and empowering ways.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3142214